I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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