idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
How external is "for external use only"?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
