best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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