super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
