I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
