i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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