Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
