you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
