His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
