I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
