Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
