At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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