So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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