Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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