i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
