ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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