No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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