SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
