Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I am spending my child support on dildos
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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