i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
