we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
