FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is wine microwaveable?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
