oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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