just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
