My liver just broke up with me...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
