Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
