Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
