i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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