he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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