I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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