I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
