if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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