Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hotel room ftw
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
