Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
