I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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