When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need to align my fucking chakras
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
