Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
