clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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