I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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