I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
