In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
