Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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