So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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