Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
