Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
