dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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