my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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