sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
A bitchslap is in order.
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