I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
