Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
